May 032014

Have you heard this before:

Bad language aside, this is something that can be true for many people: they always turn to themselves to find a culprit, the one who’s done something wrong, the one who’s not adequate – while it’s the expectations and reactions of others that are wrong.

Sometimes the path to getting out of negativity and to manifesting a peaceful and happy life begins with getting rid of the wrong crowd. It may be your closest friend, a negative coworker, perhaps even your parents, and perhaps you won’t be able to completely remove them from your life, but just being aware of the bad influence they have over you can be enough to stop taking their words so seriously and to create a distance that you need to grow.

How do you know if someone is a bad influence in your life?

1. They Don’t Acknowledge and Support Who You Are

They want you to be more like this or that person who represents their ideal son, partner, friend… They constantly compare you to someone else and push you to behave like someone you’re not.

Your main task is to be true to yourself and to allow others to be true to themselves, and that’s the relationship you should strive to have with people around you. If it makes you feel inadequate because someone close to you wishes you were different – it’s their problem, not yours. And it’s definitely not the reason to feel bad about yourself.

2. They Are Quick to Judge and Crush Your Dreams

“You don’t have what it takes to ____________ (insert your big dream here)”. “It’s impossible.” “Wake up!”

Sometimes people who love you want to keep you from being disappointed and try to stop you from fulfilling your dream believing they are doing you a favor. But no matter how good their intentions are, they are actually keeping you from reaching your full potential. They put a limit to what you can dream about and, if you trust them, you will adopt those limitations too.

Don’t let negative comments kill your dreams – try to surround yourself with those who support you and who believe in you, and if the naysayers are really close to you, let them know that they should keep their negativity to themselves.

3. They Are Just Generally Negative

There are people whose glass is always half empty, who never see the bright side of things, who blame others for their misery and who simply don’t want to change the way they see the world. If you spend too much time with this kind of people, you may find yourself adopting this way of thinking about life in general – and that’s another thing you just don’t need.

Don’t allow the negativity of others to get inside your head. They have chosen their paths, it’s up to you to choose and to create yours. Just rub it off and move on.

4. They Make You Feel Stupid and Not Attractive

In some relationships one partner (lover, friend, parent… doesn’t matter) just has the need to constantly show how beautiful or smart they are, and they usually do that by, consciously or not, using the other partner as someone to compare to: a friend who always wears something sexy when she goes out with a less attractive friend, a husband who tells embarrassing anecdotes from your private life…

If you were on your own in these situations you wouldn’t feel as unattractive or as stupid – it’s the behavior of the other person that makes you feel that way. You are a fantastic being and you don’t need people who make you feel like anything less.

5. They Don’t Listen to You and Aren’t There for You

People who won’t let you talk about how you feel, who are never there for you when you need them (but usually expect you to be there for them), they just don’t respect you and they’re not who you want to be around. Their lack of respect can easily make you develop the belief that you don’t deserve respect and you can fall into the trap of always being the one who gives without getting anything in return.

People that surround you can have a great impact on how you will develop and what you will achieve in life. And sometimes you just need to cut the unhealthy relationships in order to move on. It’s not easy and it certainly isn’t pleasant, but if you see that it’s not your circumstances but the people that make your life miserable – then make a choice and get courage to leave the bad crowd behind.

Just imagine what your life will be like when you start spending your time with the right people!

Is there another clear sign of the “wrong” people in your life that you could add to this list? Share in the comments!

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