May 112014

Were you also taught that everything needs to be in a certain way in order for you to be happy?

Most of us were: the lives and behavior patterns of those around us, especially our family, create certain expectations in us and we come to believe that we will be satisfied in life only if we have certain things, if we follow a certain path. So why are there so many unhappy people who have followed all the rules and who have everything one is supposed to have on order to be happy?

It’s simple really: happiness isn’t in the things we own or in the places we inhabit – they can be taken away from us at any moment. True happiness is in us and we take it with us everywhere we go. We can be perfectly happy without all those things we were told we need – like:

1. Piles of money

It’s not like money isn’t important – it is, but do you really need a lot more than what you have? Too many people get caught up in chasing money and making a living and they forget to make time to actually live. Pay attention that this doesn’t happen to you.

Money buys things, but it can’t buy a rich life – some poor people are happier than some millionaires. Remember that the next time you think how everything in your life would be just peachy if only you won the lottery. And count your blessings – if you look at them carefully, you will realize that they’re worth more than you’ll ever be able to make.

2. Approval of others

Not everyone will like you, not everyone will like everything you do – and that’s perfectly OK. You don’t like everyone you meet, do you?

Others don’t live your life, you do. Others shouldn’t be able to make you feel guilty for living your life the way you do – if you allow them to, you create a prison for yourself that you’ll never be able to escape because there will always be someone who won’t approve of you. And you don’t need their approval – as long as it feels right to you and as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else – its your life that you get to live your way.

3. Past without mistakes

Do you know anyone – anyone – who has a perfect past? We make mistakes, people do us wrong, bad things happen… but that doesn’t define who we are and what we will become. Don’t be attached to the things in your past or they will darken your present and your future.

Forgive, let go and move on. Every day is a new beginning if you choose so.

4. Specific people

You can be happy without people you hold close to your heart. You can, and you should. For one reason or another, people can always leave. Sometimes it’s in search for their own happiness, sometimes it’s a set of circumstances. They leave, and that’s OK too. Wish them luck and let them go – your happiness isn’t tied to them.

5. To always be happy

Never, ever complain about a bad situation – if they didn’t exist in your life, how would you be able to recognize and appreciate happiness and peace?

Experiencing life to the fullest means that you know what it feels like to be angry and disappointed and to appreciate  moments or periods of happiness when they come; you need to experience ups and downs, the highs and the lows – it’s yin and yang of life, and you need it all.

Everything that happens to you is a part of the process that helps you to grow, to get to know yourself better and to strive towards becoming the best version of yourself. But how can you possibly know what’s your best if you don’t want to experience your worst? Let it be, just accept it, learn from it and move on. Don’t make it harder than it has to be by over-thinking.

Do you agree? Can you be happy without these things? Share your thoughts!

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