No intro. This is urgent stuff!
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
Admit it or not, we have a natural tendency to compare ourselves or our circumstances with others. People we know or don’t know, it doesn’t matter – we tend to think that they’re happier, more good looking, more successful and can’t help but think how nice it would be… missing to recognize what’s good in our own lives.
As long as you compare yourself to others, you get distracted from making your own life better. The focus is then on others, not on you and your circumstances. So put your focus back where it should be and start looking for ways to change your circumstances – if change is what you want.
2. Stop living in the past
Whatever happened in the past, it doesn’t define who you are now nor who and where you will be! You can redefine your life in every single moment of it, if you pay attention to that moment. This one! Past events, be it successes or failures, can make you re-live them over and over again, and miss the opportunity to make something bigger, better with your life.
3. Stop waiting for the future
Do you tend to put your life on hold expecting for something to happen? A vacation next week, or a possibility of a new job, a retirement perhaps? Just think about how many possibly great moments you’re missing in between. You aren’t allowing them to happen because your focus is elsewhere. Having plans is great, just don’t let them distract you from your present moments.
4. Stop lying to yourself
Your ego is fragile and you’re only trying to avoid to hurt it, we get that. But what’s so wrong with admitting that you indeed are envious of your best friend? You don’t have to say it out loud, no one else needs to know about it, but you do. If you keep saying to yourself that everything is OK, then one day it will just become too much for you to handle and you will snap.
There’s no such thing as “bad” feelings – there’s only feelings that you don’t want to face because you don’t believe you could handle them. But you could and you can! Investigate all your resistance, all the strange tingles you feel and want to chase away (especially if you recognize that they appear in specific situations or around specific people) and find their root. It’s so liberating, and it making it a habit will make your existence much more lighter and honest!
5. Stop making people feel sorry for you
OK, do you really want people to think that you’re a loser? That’s the effect of your constant complaints. And not only that – by constantly putting the focus on your negative experiences you’re making them a much bigger part of your reality, plus you’re including others to that image. Tomorrow, when you don’t feel what you’re feeling now, they will still keep that image and remind you of it. You don’t want that, do you?
6. Stop setting expectations
Your partner will be tall and rich. You will have a terrific time on your vacation. You will rock at that meeting.
The images in our head can be dazzling, creating expectations probably greater than what’s even possible – and the only thing you accomplish by doing that is that your present, or that moment when the expectation is supposed to come true, looks… well… disappointing.
The best things happen when you least expect them precisely because you weren’t setting any expectations. Let the imagination have its place in your life, but be sure to know it’s only imagination.
7. Stop putting things off for tomorrow or one day
You want it? Then do it! There’s always tomorrow after tomorrow, and guess what: if two years ago you did what you are still putting off for “better days”, you’d be having it right now. Don’t wait for the perfect moment – recognize this moment as the perfect one instead and go for it. Now!