If you read our article about how subconscious mind affects manifesting, you know that your negative thoughts and your negative belief system – as well as the positive ones, but that’s never been the problem – play a huge role in your wishes not manifesting. So you need to change these patterns before you continue on your path to success, and we’ll help you with that. But first, you have to understand the processes.
How the Negative Patterns Form in Our Subconscious
In the article about subconscious mind, we have explained that our subconscious is adopting new knowledge by repetition, without judgment of any kind.
This usually happens in our early childhood, when we accept everything that someone, and especially our parents, tell us as true, because we don’t yet have our own experience to help us filter the information that we’re receiving. So if our parents repeat that the sky is blue, we will eventually understand what blue is, and learn to recognize it everywhere we see it.
But if our parents taught us that the sky is purple, our perception of the world would be much different, and later in life, it could cause some serious misunderstandings with other people, which would last until we understand that the belief that we had for so long was incorrect.
It’s the same with every other belief that forms in us. The words, ideas, behaviors that often repeat, impress in our subconscious as a rule, as truth which is very difficult to change. And, as long as they’re not hurting us or standing in the way of us living a happy and fulfilled life, it’s OK to hold them – that usually means that they’re benign or beneficial to us.
But when we discover that something inside us is holding us back, making us miserable and not allowing us to live our full potential, then we need to exactly pinpoint what it is, and to find a way to get rid of it.
What Is Your Mind Doing with All Your Good Self-help Intentions?
Two people will react differently to the affirmation: “I am a whole person deserving of love and everything great that life has to offer”.
One will deeply agree with it, and repeating this affirmation will make her positive core belief about herself even stronger, she will feel enthusiastic and ready to move mountains.
The other will want to feel enthusiastic and ready to move mountains, but repeating this affirmation will make her doubt herself even more, making her weaker and more insecure than she was before she started using it.
Which one is you? Let’s do the test right now: say the affirmation out loud and observe how you feel.
I am a whole person deserving of love and everything great that life has to offer.
If you feel great, energized – that’s fantastic! You can move on and skip the rest of the article 🙂 But if you don’t, it’s important to understand why you’re not feeling great, although you want to, so keep reading.
People with negative core self-beliefs, such as low self-esteem, confidence issues, identity recognition, self awareness etc, who want to make a change in their life by “thinking positive thoughts” will face the stubbornness of their subconscious which doesn’t support the positive self-image they’re trying to build. During a long period of time it has “learned” that the truth is something else.
So being persistent in your conscious pursuit for a better self-image may easily spiral you downward: your inner judge will rule that you’re lying to yourself; that will lead to the feeling of helplessness and despair, because your goal (becoming a satisfied and confident person) has become a measurement stick for your judge to conclude you have failed – once again. This then causes you to feel even more unworthy, more negative thoughts appear, and you feel even more like a failure.
How We Should Approach Changing Negative Beliefs
When we understand that our negative self-beliefs took a lot of time and repetition to establish, we can understand that changing them and creating new, positive beliefs is also a process that requires effort on our part, and the time for the new beliefs to take root in our mind.
1. Identify your core beliefs
You may have some idea about where you’re stuck, which negative pattern keeps emerging in your mind and behavior when you least need it to, but it’s very important to understand what exactly it is. One of the more effective ways to do this is to keep record of all of your negative self-talk, especially of what comes up when you’re trying to be positive. Keep a notebook with you all the time, and after two or three weeks you should be able to analyze it and to define where the problem is.
Our article How to release negative beliefs offers a few more techniques that can also be very effective, so try them out as well.
2. Take one step at a time
Don’t go straight into being perfect – just plan to do a little better. If you can’t yet say: “I am a whole person”, then say: “I am working on becoming a whole person”; if you’re manifesting a life of abundance while you’re in debt over your head, then manifest getting out of debt for starters.
This way, you won’t be facing too much objection from your subconscious, as “doing a little better” is much closer to your current situation.
3. Use help
If you feel that you can’t do this by yourself – don’t hesitate to call for help. There are trained professionals who can help you overcome this, and there’s nothing wrong with using their help. You have already made the first step by realizing that you need to change your beliefs and by proclaiming that you want to change for the better. That’s more than most people will ever do.
If you don’t want to work with the professionals, or if you can’t afford them, you can also try other forms of influencing your subconscious.
Subliminal or hypnosis audios, for example, are affordable and effective methods to change the negative patterns without meeting the resistance of your mind, as they bypass the critical factor (some call this the gatekeeper) that decides what get inside it: subliminal messaging does it by the use of frequencies that are just out of your conscious hearing level, and hypnosis by inducing a deeply relaxed state in which the suggestive affirmations can enter your subconscious undisturbed.
4. You don’t have to be perfect
Nobody is perfect, and you should add that to the list of things that your inner judge needs to be persuaded of. You just have to accept your imperfections, as they’re what makes you – you. Only when you accept who you are will you be able to see what it is that makes you happy, and to define your manifesting wishes properly, because only then will you have a clear picture of what it is that you want, and not what it is that you need.
And when you become aware of who you are, it simply becomes a matter of common sense not to believe negative thoughts 🙂
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